I’ve blogged in the past about what I’ve learned from my father about working and playing well with others. I just wanted to share a key lesson from my mother that contributed greatly to my almost twenty year run as a freelance consultant/writer.
I was probably about eight years old.  It was summertime and I was playing Little league baseball. I guess I inherited my mother’s prowess with a bat because I was a pretty comfortable as a hitter right from the start.  And this particular evening I had four base hits and was touting my exploits to the neighbors. My mother overheard my bragging, dragged me into the house, and firmly explained that “tooting your own horn” was not only inappropriate, it could come back to embarrass you.  Her belief was that it is much better to let others talk about your accomplishments rather than doing it yourself.

Today people often ask me if I am an expert in whatever. Having had my mother’s good counsel, I will respond by saying something like, “Well, I do work in that area, however, it is really not for me to say if I’m an expert; that’s for others to say.”

As I look at some blogs, resumes, Facebook pages, and other venues, I wonder how my mother would react today to some of the claims people are making and what they are saying about themselves.

I’m interested in hearing from everyone – particularly Millennials and Gen X readers – regarding the relevance of my mother’s advice in this new age of social media marketing. Thanks!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

So here is my question for those Gen Y folks out there – actually two questions: What makes you laugh? What does a fun work environment  look like for you? I would love to hear your comments.  Thanks in advance

In the village where I grew up in NJ, I participated in a lot of activities that kept that public side in view including baseball, theater, music, public speaking, and elected office in school. So people knew who I was even though I did not know them. In my current life, I have been working with one client for pretty much my entire freelancing career.  During that time I have met well over a thousand people in just this one company. A very common occurrence is that someone will say, “Oh, I saw you at the grocery store or in the hall or at such and such a play last week.” When I hear comments like that it makes me realize two things: Others are observing me without my seeing them; and I better pay attention to my behavior because others are!

Last week I was in the left-hand turn lane waiting for the oncoming traffic to pass so I could enter the parking lot of my favorite coffee shop for a caffeine fix before my next meeting. There was a driver behind me honking to seemingly get me to turn into the traffic.  I am wondering “who is this person?” as I looked in my rear view mirror.  Fortunately, I remained calm. I turned into the parking lot, and noticed the other vehicle following me. We both parked and out pops a client with who I am currently working, who was just excited to see we went to the same coffee shop and was only trying to greet me! Had my behavior been different, I could have really blown it.

The point of this blog entry is this.  I have learned a lot of lessons in my life. Some of the learning has even been painful; fortunately, most has not.  I wanted to share this lesson especially with Millennials.  More and more people – particularly Gen Y – have a more public persona online than ever before .  Between blogs, Twitter, FaceBook, and LinkedIn  we are all more “public” than we know.  And I am stunned by how much some people reveal about themselves.  As an example, one of my favorite blogs, http://www.askamanager.com had a post about a resume that listed that person’s personal blog on a behavior best left to the privacy of ones own home. Now most of you who know me well recall that I make it a point to be as nonjudgmental as possible in all of my interactions with others. So what people choose to reveal about themselves – particularly online – is up to them.  I would just encourage everyone to think about the future consequences of revealing that personal tidbit.  People – some of whom you will never know – will notice.

Here is the relevant summary from the Christian Science Monitor article by Morley Winograd and Michael D. Hais:

“Millennials are the American generation least bound by gender role expectations, so it isn’t surprising that the protagonist is a young woman with an androgynous name, Andy (Sachs). Because Millennials are also the most tolerant American generation, it’s not surprising that Andy’s best friends are an African-American woman, a gay man, and her sensitive boyfriend who aspires to be a chef. In true Millennial fashion, Andy constantly relies on her friends and parents, whom she adores, for love, advice, and support.

Andy is temporarily attracted by the glitter of the world of high fashion. However, like others of this generation who are driven by a desire to solve society’s problems, she realizes her true calling is far different.

She breaks with her boss, Miranda Priestly, at the fashion magazine where she works, so that she can take a job writing for a liberal newspaper. But, as a polite and conventional Millennial, the break is not harsh. In fact, her old boss, the devil herself, provides the crucial reference for Andy’s new job.

Everyone in politics and pop culture should learn the lesson MTV belatedly has. To really understand the preferences of young people, take a look at their generation and not simply their age. That will tell you everything you need to know”

Of course this a view of the Millennials.  I am curious if Millennials see The Devil Wears Prada as their coming of age movie.

Mary is a twenty-something on Laura’s staff that is in her first professional job out of school.  At Mary’s annual review, Laura did what every good manager does, she asked Mary for her input on how Laura could me more effective in providing work direction or if there is anything in the way they work that could be done differently.  Mary told Laura that she thought she was a great boss and then ask why they had to follow a certain process for client visits because she thought there might be a better way.  Now, Laura could have given, the “that’s the way we’ve always done it” response and moved on.  Instead, she asked Mary, “What ideas do you have about how things could be done differently?” Mary then outlined a well-thought out recommendation for the process with great reasons.  Laura told me that her first reaction was “that’s a great idea” and she asked Mary to write up her recommendation so that Laura could get the necessary approvals for change (they do live in a hierarchical organization afterall).  Mary completed the written recommendation in a nanosecond, and Laura got the approvals very quickly.  This new practice made the operation a whole lot more efficient and effective and had other staff saying, “Why didn’t we do this sooner?’

Here is the lesson.  One of the many gifts that the Millennial Generation brings to the workplace are fresh eyes, an enthusiasm to contribute immediately, and the ability to see solutions that simplify the way things are done. When a baby boomer manager dismisses a suggestion of a Gen Y employee because they are too young or new or whatever, they leave that young employee with the feeling that they can’t make a difference where they are and increase the likelihood that person will be texting their network to find another job. In contrast, Laura’s response really helped Mary feel included and the fact that many loved the suggestion increased Mary’s credibility with everyone. And … because the manager has such a strong impact on job satisfaction, Mary is probably texting her friends about what a great place to work she has. This is a win-win for everyone!