Why do Managers Get Derailed?

“Bad bosses” continue to get a lot of press. In my world of training, developing, and coaching managers over the past twenty years, I have yet to meet a manager who wakes up in the morning and consciously says, “Today I am going to be a bad boss; I am going to do my best to totally screw up the lives of the people who work for me.” Yet, there are definitely really bad bosses in the work world. So how exactly does that happen?

I think there are two major reasons why managers descend into that “bad boss” abyss.

The first culprit is a lack of self-awareness.  Bad managers are generally clueless about how their style and way of providing work direction impacts those who report to them.  And if they do possess some level of self-awareness, they are often unwilling to flex or adapt their style to more effectively connect with others.

Second, most bad bosses suffer from the “it’s all about me syndrome”. What they fail to realize is that the role of a manager at any level is to get work done through others.  Great managers realize that it is all about the people who report to them and those managers do everything they can to provide a work environment where their direct reports can be as effective as possible.

And organizations can also be guilty of contributing to the bad manager phenomenon.  There are still organizations that promote the top individual contributors into management roles and fail to recognize that being a great manager requires very different competencies then being a great individual contributor.  This practice can have a double negative impact. First, it takes a great individual contributor and puts him or her in a role for which they are ill-suited. Second, if that person turns out to be a bad manager, it diminishes the effectiveness of the direct reports that have to deal with that person on a daily basis.

A Site About Bad Bosses That Names Names!

A number of years ago, I wrote an article for The Albuquerque Journal titled “How to Set a Bad Manager on a Better Path”. At that time, I remarked that if one did a Google search on the keywords “bad manager” there would be more than 7 million hits.  Now the same search yields more than four times that number.  And what is more striking is that the websites devoted to the topic of “bad managers” have gone from telling stories about them to actually rating them – and naming names!

One such site is http://ebosswatch.com.  The basic premise of this site is that workplace bullying is fast becoming THE critical work place issue and that “nobody should have to work for a jerk”. So this site allows employees to rate their bosses and lists the results by name and organization.  Since I spend a lot of my time teaching new and experienced managers how to be great managers, I did a quick search of my client organizations and fortunately found them missing from the list!

Bad managers have been around for decades. And study after study indicates that employees leave organizations for reasons related to a bad boss. Conversely, more recent research from within major companies shows that great managers help employees feel totally engaged and willing to go that extra mile. So why does the problem persist?

I think there are at least three reasons:

  1. Organizations promote outstanding individual contributors into the management role by making the assumption that a great individual contributor will also be a great manager. The reality is that being a successful manager requires an entirely different set of competencies than being a successful individual contributor.
  2. Many organizations take a “they’ll figure it out approach” to training new managers.  Unless an organization helps a new manager become self-aware, value style differences, manage performance, and realize that they are now accountable for getting work done through others, the probability of that new manager being successful is left totally to chance.
  3. Many organizations are scared to deal with a jerk.  Unlike fine wine, bad managers will not improve with age.  Organizations need to hold managers accountable for not only what business results they achieve, but how they achieve them and deal swiftly with problem managers.

I am interested in hearing your thoughts about the causes and cures for the persistent problem of bad managers.

Gift Ideas: Twelve Lords A’Leaping or Coaching Sessions?

I had a wonderful initial coaching session with a new client yesterday morning at 7:30AM. Even though it is really challenging to get out of bed on these dark Minnesota winter mornings, I do enjoy the morning hours and meeting at a local coffee shop (that was the client’s choice) helped jump start the day. Nigel (not his real name) developed four clear and actionable goals and we got off to a great start.

It is not unusual to do a coaching session on a Saturday morning – I always accommodate the client’s schedule as best I can. What is a bit unusual is how this engagement came about. Normally, I’ll get a call from some one in human resources or from a senior leader in an organization to check out my availability to coach usually a senior manager or executive around some specific issue as part of their development. This time I received an email from one of the participants in one of my recent management development workshops. She wanted to know if I would be interested in putting together a “coaching package” for her husband that she could give him as a Christmas present.

As most you know, I’m am a minimalist and when it comes to gift giving, I am always in favor of the gift of an experience in lieu of stuff. So I thought this was a grand idea and told her that moving forward would depend on the fit between what Nigel was seeking as an outcome of the coaching and what I was skilled in providing. Nigel’s goals focused on leadership development, work/life balance, and generally getting better at working and playing well with others. He also had data about himself we could use (MBTI® and StrengthsFinder 2.0). His needs were directly in my area of focus, so I put together a coaching package of three 90 minute sessions and we just had our first one.

So if you are looking for an idea for a Christmas gift, think about giving the gift of an experience – a membership at a museum, tickets for a concert or the theater, and yes, even a series of coaching sessions. If you decide to give a series of sessions with a professional executive/life coach as a gift, here are several things to consider. If the answer to each of these four questions is “yes”, you may have discovered a great gift-giving option!

Is there a specific focus for the coaching?

In this case, Nigel had some very specific goals that he wanted to address as part of his personal and career development.

Is the person for whom you are giving the gift open to this experience?

While I know it is the thought that counts, your potential recipient may say that they’d rather have a root canal then meet with a coach.

Is there a good fit between the person getting the coaching and the coach?

Giving this kind of gift takes a little pre-work such as that initiated by Nigel’s wife. So while it may not be a surprise, it can be very meaningful if there is a good fit between coach and coachee. I was fully prepared to be the one to say that maybe Nigel would be happier with a different coach.

Is the price reasonable?

This is where the sage advice of caveat emptor (buyer beware!) applies. What you are looking for is a three to four session “package”. There are some coaches that will use this opportunity to create a lifelong (and expensive, to you or the person receiving the coaching) relationship. So be clear on what you are purchasing.

So do you still have some Christmas shopping to do?

Do Others Know What You Expect of Them?

It’s hard to work and play well with others if expectations don’t get shared. If both were still alive, today would have been my parents’ 70th wedding anniversary! They were married for 52 years and I was around for 41 of those.

When two people are in a relationship that long there will always be ups and downs and good times and bad. The longevity of any relationship really depends on how well those in the relationship find ways to make it work. One of the things that I noticed when times a got a little rocky between them was that they would forget to share their expectations of each other openly. Instead they just assumed the other knew what those expectation were. A case in point was usually the holiday season. Each would have expectations about what a great holiday season might look like, yet each would never share those expectations with the other. As a result, both were disappointed more often than not.

How many times have you experienced a situation where your boss assumed you knew what was expected or you were a member of a team that just left a meeting assuming everyone knew the assignment – yet those expectations were never openly shared.

Why are we so afraid to share those expectations openly, when not sharing them usually results in hurt feelings?

The Makings of a Leadership Reading List

As I am getting ready to do another week-long new management development program with my friend and colleague Linda Houden, I am thinking about a question that we are often get asked by participants: “Can you recommend any books on leadership/management for us?” I have written previous blogs about my bias against popular “business books. However, the question is a legitimate one and I have decided to devote the next few blogs to answering it.

An easy recommended reading is Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project. One of the challenges that I find often confounds even the best leader is how to have that really thorny conversation. This book really helps. It is so accessible and practical that even the busiest leader will find it a worthwhile read. More to follow¦

Are You Reading Critically?

People in my seminars and workshops often ask me “what business books do you read?  I answer, “I don’t read business books. The group is usually stunned.  What I found through the years is that  many business books don’t really offer any new ideas and often lead readers to the conclusion that there are simple answers to complex problems. Here are a couple of examples to illustrate my point.

Patrick Lencioni is a writer and consultant that a number of people admire.  His books often have a number in the title: The Five Temptations of a CEO; The Five Dysfunctions of a Team; The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive; and The Three Signs of a Miserable Job. Let me be clear that Patrick Lencioni and I probably have a great deal of common ground in our shared passion for making workplaces better.  His books are very accessible and seem to have struck a chord because his book sales are off the charts.  And I do not disagree with the major themes in the books above.  What is a problem for me is how the work gets applied.  Most people in organizations who cite his works tend to have read them non-critically and believe that, “if we can only overcome these five dysfunctions we will be a better team.  What is missing is the question, “might there be a sixth or seventh dysfunction or temptation that is really tripping us up?  Patrick Lencioni provides an example of what philosophers refer to as reductionist thinking – the tendency to reduce problems and solutions to the simplest set of principles.  Another example would be Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  The finite number of principles that reductionist thinking yields are not necessary bad or incorrect principles.  I have worked with teams that, in fact, exhibit all five dysfunctions about which Lencioni writes – as well as others!.  However, reductionist thinking has a way of making people lazy.  Instead of asking “are these really the three, four, or five things in play or better yet, might there be other principles that would apply, there is a tendency to accept as true the results of this reductionist thinking.

Another book that I have seen get mis-used is Jim Collins’ Good to Great.  Collins talks about great organizations making sure that they have “the right people on the bus.  I have talked with a number of executive who extol the virtues of this book and especially cite the part about getting the right people on the bus.  The way this passage gets interpreted is to hire (that is get people on the bus) who look like, think like, and act like the people doing the hiring.  So without real diversity do we really have businesses that can be as great as they could be?
So what do I read?  I read biography, history, and poetry.  I am currently reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals.  This is the story of how Abraham Lincoln selected for his cabinet four of his rivals for the Presidential nomination in 1860 and forge them and others into a team that lead the United States through the Civil War. If you really want to learn about getting the right people on the bus and building an effective team read this book. But read it with a critical eye, ask questions, then decide how you want to move forward.

Is Your Boss a “Screamer”?

When my stepchildren were involved in youth sports, I remember a conversation among the parents in which we would wonder about the new coach. People would ask, “Is this person a screamer. In other words, except for when the coach is shouting encouragement or trying to get a player’s attention from across the field, does the coach routinely yell at the players – especially if they make a mistake , which (news flash to ALL coaches) they frequently do because they are learning how to play? We did not like the screamer coaches.

I’ve noted before that there are many websites devoted entirely to bad bosses (e.g., www.badbossology.com, www.badbosses.net). A question being asked around the water cooler is now, “Is that boss a screamer? In other words, is this boss someone who yells at his/her staff? It is a pretty sad state of affairs when this happens.

Well, here is the deal. It is NEVER OK for a boss to yell at a peer or a direct report in the workplace and that includes one-on-one meetings as well as larger gatherings. I think the worst example of this kind of behavior I have witnessed was when I was asked to coach the CEO of a small privately held services company several years ago. This CEO spent the entire leadership team meeting publicly humiliating each member of his team , for very trivial things. And if a given VP had not done anything wrong, this CEO would still berate them on general principles. What was even more amazing is that this team put up with it.

This happened to me once. It was about twenty years ago, and my boss started screaming at me because I responded to a request from her boss directly without having my boss review it before it was sent , not that my boss ever communicated this expectation. We were in the boss’ office. When she finished, I very calmly said, “It is quite reasonable for you to communicate your expectations about how you want me to handle a given situation. It is not acceptable for you to scream at me. I treat you with respect and I expect the same in return. My boss sat in stunned silence. She then apologized and said that she might have overreacted.

Sometimes bosses scream because they are scared of something , and more often than not because the organization has allowed the person to get away with it. Simply letting them know what is and is not acceptable , very calmly , will work most of the time. When it does not , then you have more data that will help you decide what to do. About six months after my conversation, I started my own company.

Pay Attention Because the Bear Is!

Author Jim Harrison has said that “when you are tracking a bear, pay attention; because the bear is. Think about how many things that we do on “automatic pilot. For example, how many of you have had the experience of driving a familiar route, arriving at your destination, and then remembering absolutely nothing about the details of the trip. And you end up wondering how did I even get here.

On Monday, I wrote about deliberation; today I would like to suggest that paying attention or focus is equally important. How often have we been in a meeting with someone who is trying to explain something to us, and we appear to be listening, but instead we are thinking about what we are going to say, or worse yet, thinking about how in the world we are going to get to our son or daughter’s soccer game in rush hour traffic.

So, pay attention, and see what becomes possible.

The “Praise Generation”

I know I’ve written quite a bit about the youngest generation in the workplace , the millennials. I’m not trying to single them out or pick on them in anyway.  It’s just that there is quite a buzz about this generation of workers that seems to get louder.  Members of other generations , particularly Gen X and the Boomers , continually comment on the idiosyncrasies of the millennials. While they appreciate that generation’s ability to multi-task, its willingness to learn new things, and the techno-saavy it brings to workplace, the inability to accept criticism is what draws the most attention.  In fact, I recently received a request to develop a training module to help Boomer managers provide feedback to what has been dubbed “the praise generation.

For better or worse, the millennials are a product of an educational and parenting philosophy that holds that one should only give positive feedback because the greatest fear is damaging the individual’s self-esteem.  Now the millennial who has received all of this positive feedback comes face to face with a Boomer Manager who very simply , and not in a mean way, I might add , tells her that her performance is not meeting standards.  The feedback devastates the millennial who says something that is the equivalent of “I’ve never gotten less than an ˜A’ in my life.

A good way to provide feedback to this praise generation is to use the what’s working , what’s missing conversation.  The manager begins by saying here is what’s working well in the millennial’s performance (e.g., your written reports are always very thorough).  Then goes on to what’s missing , in other words, what is the element that needs to be present for the millennial to take his/her performance to the next level?  In this case, the manager might point out that what needs to be present is turning in the assignment on time.  Sometimes this approach will work.  However, be prepared for a “helicopter parent to request a meeting with you, the manager, if that parent thinks their little twenty-something adult has not received the exclusively positive feedback they so richly deserve!

Breaking the “Code”

My observation is that more and more organizations realize the business benefits of creating an environment where people can work and play well with others. However, when I get a call from an organization to enlist my help, I sometimes have to be a code-breaker.  While organizations more often these days can be brutally honest and say, “we have a manager that is an abject disaster, or “the members of this department hate each others guts, or “the senior management team is like a dysfunctional family, or “we are doing well, but we want to be proactive to take our performance to the next level, there are others who are more circumspect in describing the issue. When someone is direct with me – it is very refreshing , and we can begin to look at possibilities of how we might partner.   However, when the person on the other end of the phone speaks in code, getting to the root of the issue depends solely on how quickly and accurately, I can break the code.
In going through some old files, I found my notes from a conference call with the senior human resources officer for a large multi-national publicly-traded company that shall remain nameless to protect the innocent , namely me , but for purposes of this story I’ll call Workworld. In the spirit of full disclosure, this is not a company for which I did any work. However, here is the coded conversation.
The human resources person began by saying that Workworld currently has a product management training program that has great content because it came from the leading textbook on product management, but has not had the impact that was intended. She continued to say that Workworld was seeking someone to revamp the curriculum, and that I came highly recommended.  When I ask why the existing program has not been as effective as it could have been, I am told the following:  “There have been ˜infrastructure problems‘ in the product management area.  The product managers come from a variety of backgrounds in the company, have a range of performance issues, and need to develop their skill sets to a level commensurate with the expectations of their job requirements.  The senior vice-president of product management has insisted on an urgent timeline for this group to transition from being a transaction based business to one that has more of a strategic focus with an emphasis on driving financial results, and he has the budget and the accountability to make it happen.  He wants a curriculum that includes pre-work, an evaluative component, and competency certification.  [Editorial comment , Notice the use of "buzz words in bold type.]
Here is one possible way to decode the conversation:  This senior human resources officer has absolutely no power or voice in the decision of who Workworld will hire to design the training program. I am a name on their list but not necessarily highly recommended.  I am simply the next in a string of consultants who have already told Workworld they were not available.  The new Senior Vice President of Product Development is a high-powered MBA who finds dialing a phone beneath him (or he never learned how) and so he has asked the human resources officer to screen consultants. Moreover, someone created the training program without involving the product managers in the design, used an academic text for the content, and now has no agreement among the managers on how the training applies to day-to-day operations.  The “infrastructure problems may refer to the fact that historically the product management area has been the place where the company dumps marginal performers so they can’t do any harm to the real business.  Now times have changed, as well as the management, and Workworld now wants this area to make money for the company.  Unfortunately, the current staff , through no fault of their own – is not qualified to do this.  The new senior vice-president has been given the dollars and authority to fix the problem, but he does not have the chutzpa to fire poor performers or transition employees who should have never been put in this position in the first place to new roles.  So he wants a consultant to come in, develop a demanding training program, evaluate who can cut it and who cannot, be the taskmaster that he isn’t and get rid of the dead wood.  And this work needs to be done right away because this guy is toast if he can’t show results by next week.
Now, the reader might detect a certain amount of cynicism in the manner in which I have recast the situation.  However, one of my previous clients who was working for Workworld and had hoped to reach me prior to the call from the VP of Human Resources corroborated much of my intuition about this company , including that I was one of multiple consultants that they called.  The point of this story is this.  There are many excellent places to work out there that consciously work at doing what is necessary to build those excellent work places.  What these organizations have in common is leadership that has the ability and willingness to speak honestly about what is working well and what is still missing that needs to be present to be a great place to work and they take the appropriate action.  When they bring someone in from the outside, they are equally honest, they speak clearly in a manner that needs no decoding, and they welcome the partnership and perspective that an outside person brings.  And from the perspective of consultants such as myself, they are the organizations with whom we love to work.