Working With Others

“For over 90 years, The Conference Board has created and disseminated knowledge about management and the marketplace to help businesses strengthen their performance and better serve society. The Conference Board operates as a global independent membership organization working in the public interest. It publishes information and analysis, makes economics-based forecasts and assesses trends, and facilitates learning by creating dynamic communities of interest that bring together senior executives from around the world.” (From Conference Board Website)

On Tuesday January 5, 2010, The Conference Board released the results of a survey that indicated the lowest level of job satisfaction among American Workers in the last 22 years. Survey results showed that only 45% of Americans are satisfied with their work. What is even more significant is that 64% of workers under age 25 are unhappy in their jobs. In some workplaces, it is challenging to work and play well with others on a good day; it is particularly difficult to do so when you hate your job.

The last time job satisfaction was this low was back in the late 1980’s when most American workers were experiencing the results of the Reagan Administration’s “trickle-down economics”. And on October 19, 1987 (Black Monday), the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 508 points or 22.61% in ONE day. It was also a period that saw the beginnings of process re-engineering in which American Corporations began to systematically eliminate something called “non-value-added jobs”. The pessimism that stemmed from both events certainly took its toll on job satisfaction.

One of the conclusions of the current study is that this level of job dissatisfaction it could stifle innovation and hurt American industry’s competitiveness and productivity. And it may lead to older workers being less likely to share their knowledge and experience with younger ones. I find this last statement to be the most disturbing.

Jason Dorsey, the self-proclaimed “Gen Y Guy” talks about the fact that Gen Y does not want the Baby Boomers to retire because they know things Gen Y does not – like long division and state capitals! Now Jason’s talks are very entertaining and everyone usually has a good laugh. However, the reality is that Boomers do know things that Gen Y does not that directly impact the sustainability of American business organizations. If that knowledge transfer between the older and younger workers does not occur, it will be difficult for companies to continue to move forward. Yes, Gen Y workers seek the opportunity to “show what they can do”, however, if they lack an understanding of the context of how a company works and the rationale for why things have occurred in the past, they may truly be “rebels without a cause”.

I had a wonderful initial coaching session with a new client yesterday morning at 7:30AM. Even though it is really challenging to get out of bed on these dark Minnesota winter mornings, I do enjoy the morning hours and meeting at a local coffee shop (that was the client’s choice) helped jump start the day. Nigel (not his real name) developed four clear and actionable goals and we got off to a great start.

It is not unusual to do a coaching session on a Saturday morning – I always accommodate the client’s schedule as best I can. What is a bit unusual is how this engagement came about. Normally, I’ll get a call from some one in human resources or from a senior leader in an organization to check out my availability to coach usually a senior manager or executive around some specific issue as part of their development. This time I received an email from one of the participants in one of my recent management development workshops. She wanted to know if I would be interested in putting together a “coaching package” for her husband that she could give him as a Christmas present.

As most you know, I’m am a minimalist and when it comes to gift giving, I am always in favor of the gift of an experience in lieu of stuff. So I thought this was a grand idea and told her that moving forward would depend on the fit between what Nigel was seeking as an outcome of the coaching and what I was skilled in providing. Nigel’s goals focused on leadership development, work/life balance, and generally getting better at working and playing well with others. He also had data about himself we could use (MBTI® and StrengthsFinder 2.0). His needs were directly in my area of focus, so I put together a coaching package of three 90 minute sessions and we just had our first one.

So if you are looking for an idea for a Christmas gift, think about giving the gift of an experience – a membership at a museum, tickets for a concert or the theater, and yes, even a series of coaching sessions. If you decide to give a series of sessions with a professional executive/life coach as a gift, here are several things to consider. If the answer to each of these four questions is “yes”, you may have discovered a great gift-giving option!

Is there a specific focus for the coaching?

In this case, Nigel had some very specific goals that he wanted to address as part of his personal and career development.

Is the person for whom you are giving the gift open to this experience?

While I know it is the thought that counts, your potential recipient may say that they’d rather have a root canal then meet with a coach.

Is there a good fit between the person getting the coaching and the coach?

Giving this kind of gift takes a little pre-work such as that initiated by Nigel’s wife. So while it may not be a surprise, it can be very meaningful if there is a good fit between coach and coachee. I was fully prepared to be the one to say that maybe Nigel would be happier with a different coach.

Is the price reasonable?

This is where the sage advice of caveat emptor (buyer beware!) applies. What you are looking for is a three to four session “package”. There are some coaches that will use this opportunity to create a lifelong (and expensive, to you or the person receiving the coaching) relationship. So be clear on what you are purchasing.

So do you still have some Christmas shopping to do?

When my generation was in high school, one of the career opportunities that was not even on the radar screen was barista as in “one who makes expensive latte drinks at chain coffee shops”. Another is “life coach” as in “someone who helps one navigate life’s sea of change – be it career, personal or otherwise”. Back in those days, you made coffee on your stove top perculator and if you needed help with life’s vagaries, you talked to your friends at a diner or bar. Coaches stuck to the sport they knew.

Given the economy, and the fact that at least one national coffee house chain is closing outlets, baristas are no longer in the demand they once were. Life coaches seem to be multiplying exponentially, though – as are the certification programs to become one. My friend Bob recently emailed me that “there is not enough ‘life’ for all the coaches out there”. He may be right.

If you google “life coach certification programs” you will find a plethora of avenues to become a certified life coach. Here is what I observed when I did just a little bit of digging. First, the programs range from a day-long (or less) program to a several month course of study – and at the end of either extreme one becomes a “certified life coach”. The variability of the length and the content of the courses suggests that there is no agreement of what constitutes the preparation for a life coach.

Second, these certification programs can cost several thousand dollars – and for many it is hard to even find out how much the program costs. Again, a pretty suspect fact. Makes one think that the “certification process” itself was created by a few as simply a money-making proposition.

Finally, I found little evidence in my quick search of either a threshold for entry into the program – that is, an application process – or a demonstration of competency at completion of the program. What tends to be emphasized is the lucrative opportunity that waits for certified life coaches. My question is, does anyone ever wash out of these programs and if they do can they just try another?

Now that I have raised the above warning flags, I do know several executive coaches who are excellent. And there are probably some credible life coaches as well. However, in the absence of agreed upon standards of what makes a great life coach, my advice to all is that if you have exhausted your friends’ patience regarding your life issues and you really need a life coach, check references!

Current statistics state that the average cost of an MBA degree is in excess of $40,000 per year with some programs costing as much as $60,000 a year for a typical two year program. And according to www.mbaprograms.org, “ [T]he tuition cost of an MBA is more often than not an indication of its quality and regard among employers.”  There clearly is a mythology in play that says that corporations highly covet MBA’s, particularly from the top schools.

Here are some observations that might cause everyone to at least re-evaluate the value of an MBA degree more objectively.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I hold an MBA degree.

1. I have worked with MBA’s from the top programs in the country including Harvard, Wharton, and Kellogg.  I have also worked with those who earned their degrees from one of the many other MBA programs – usually in the evening while working.  There have been, what I would call, outstanding managers and leaders from both camps.  And there have been some whom I would consider dangerous to themselves and others – abject disasters as business managers.  My conclusion is that those high potential business people would have been high potential even without the MBA degree.
2. I have also met a number of MBA’s – even from top schools – whose technical skills – being able to read financial statements, or create a business plan, etc. were first rate.  But whose reasoning ability – the capacity to understand the second, third, and fourth order consequences of a decision – and the ability to get work done through others was sorely lacking.
3. Most MBA curricula focus on teaching business basics – the same basics that one would also get in an undergraduate business degree program- often taught by the same faculty using the same text books – except that the course numbers indicate a graduate school designation.  And because the courses are not cross-disciplinary, the curriculum reinforces the prevalent silo orientation of most corporations that organize around accounting, marketing, finance, and manufacturing functions.
4. Most business school faculties have a strong academic orientation.  That fact has at least two implications.  First, what gets taught is taught from a very theoretical perspective. Second, faculty get promoted not for their teaching but for their research.  So corporations that hire MBA’s have to spend time teaching them “how things really work”.
5. From having been an adjunct MBA professor for about 18 years,  many of the MBA students that I encountered lacked basic writing skills.

For what it is worth, I think corporations need to re-think their hiring practices and critically assess the value of an MBA.  At the same time, take a look at outstanding liberal arts graduates who have learned how to think, and write, and communicate. And who know how to learn. I can assure you that this pool could learn the basics of business (e.g., how to create and read financial statements, how to do a business plan, how a business makes its product or service and its money, and marketing principles) in less than six months – probably even in six weeks. By far one of the best MBA students that I taught was graduate of a liberal arts college whose whole curriculum is based on reading great books and writing about them – and she has been a quick learner in every position she has had.  So think about it.

Noel Coward said, “Work is much more fun than fun.”

How many of us can honesty say that they feel as Noel Coward did?  In my career, I have encountered many people who firmly believe that work is work and by definition should never be fun.  This group believes that one works in order to have fun.

Based on personal experience particularly during the past several years, I am an advocate of the “life is short philosophy.  Recently, I have really been reviewing various aspects of my life and asking myself is this something I really want to do.  What I have realized in this process is that we all have choices and we can choose to do what we want to do.  Granted, some people may not be happy with the choices we make and we may have a limited number of options from which to choose.  Yet, we still have choices.

Occasionally, I meet people who are miserable in their jobs.  For them, work is far from being more fun than fun.  When I suggest that they have options, they often look at me like I have two heads and give me a litany of excuses why they are stuck.  Yet, every once in a while, one surprises me.  That person says, “you know, I’ve been unhappy in this job for years and maybe it is time to make a move.

Imagine what life would be like if we could have our work be a fun part of our lives. I am interested in hearing stories from people who have made a choice to enliven their work lives.  Is anyone out there willing to share his or hers?

When my stepchildren were involved in youth sports, I remember a conversation among the parents in which we would wonder about the new coach. People would ask, “Is this person a screamer. In other words, except for when the coach is shouting encouragement or trying to get a player’s attention from across the field, does the coach routinely yell at the players – especially if they make a mistake , which (news flash to ALL coaches) they frequently do because they are learning how to play? We did not like the screamer coaches.

I’ve noted before that there are many websites devoted entirely to bad bosses (e.g., www.badbossology.com, www.badbosses.net). A question being asked around the water cooler is now, “Is that boss a screamer? In other words, is this boss someone who yells at his/her staff? It is a pretty sad state of affairs when this happens.

Well, here is the deal. It is NEVER OK for a boss to yell at a peer or a direct report in the workplace and that includes one-on-one meetings as well as larger gatherings. I think the worst example of this kind of behavior I have witnessed was when I was asked to coach the CEO of a small privately held services company several years ago. This CEO spent the entire leadership team meeting publicly humiliating each member of his team , for very trivial things. And if a given VP had not done anything wrong, this CEO would still berate them on general principles. What was even more amazing is that this team put up with it.

This happened to me once. It was about twenty years ago, and my boss started screaming at me because I responded to a request from her boss directly without having my boss review it before it was sent , not that my boss ever communicated this expectation. We were in the boss’ office. When she finished, I very calmly said, “It is quite reasonable for you to communicate your expectations about how you want me to handle a given situation. It is not acceptable for you to scream at me. I treat you with respect and I expect the same in return. My boss sat in stunned silence. She then apologized and said that she might have overreacted.

Sometimes bosses scream because they are scared of something , and more often than not because the organization has allowed the person to get away with it. Simply letting them know what is and is not acceptable , very calmly , will work most of the time. When it does not , then you have more data that will help you decide what to do. About six months after my conversation, I started my own company.

From time to time I come across a quotation that captures my attention.  Here is one of my favorites:

I decided to start anew-to strip away what I had been taught, to accept as true my own thinking. This was one of the best times of my life. There was no one around to look at what I was doing, no one interested, no one to say anything about it one way or another. I was alone and singularly free, working into my own, unknown-no one to satisfy but myself. I began with charcoal and paper and decided not to use any color until it was impossible to do what I wanted to do in black and white. I believe it was June before I needed blue.”

-Georgia O’Keefe

I think one of the characteristics of organizational life is that sometimes we end adopting a style or way of working that is not our own but instead is the one that the organizational culture calls on us to use.  I think it can be useful for each of us to take the time “to work into our own” and discover what our unique gifts happen to be.

Today’s USA Today has a cover story in the Money section titled, “Hi, I’m Joan, and I’m a workaholic. The article talks about extreme workers , some of whom attend Workaholic Anonymous meetings in cities around the country. The premise of the article is that the workaholic’s behavior impacts relationships, health, and general well being. It goes on to cite the technological advances of cell phones, laptops, and the Internet that make this extreme work behavior possible. As I walked about the streets of Arlington, VA yesterday, the number of people NOT attached to their cell phones or blackberries struck me. And I am really amazed by the number of men continuing to talk on cell phones or engage in text messaging while in the men’s room! So there certainly is something about technology that makes extreme work possible. However, there is something to which the USA Today article alludes but glosses over. And that is the subtle or not so subtle message that business organizations give to workers that encourages and even rewards this extreme worker behavior.

In the organizations that I visit, I would be hard pressed to tell you what normal business hours are , I see people coming to work before 7AM and staying in their offices until late in the evening. Organizations today do talk about work-life balance. Yet, I will often receive emails from people in those organizations that were sent in the middle of the night.

As someone who also works long hours and spends a great deal of time traveling for business, I am the last person you will hear preaching about extreme workers and the organizations in which they work. But here is my worry conversation. I worry about how sustainable a workforce can be whose effectiveness depends on continuing to work extreme hours. I know that I need to give myself time to recover after I’ve had a particularly intense period of work. I wonder if there is a breaking point at which both productivity and worker satisfaction begin to suffer. Time will tell.

Back in November 2006, MSNBC did a story on something called “Helicopter Parents , these are parents of the millennial generation who confront college professors when they believe their child was treated unfairly, prepare resumes when their offspring begin a job search, and have actually been known to try to negotiate compensation packages, and parachute into performance management conferences to go to bat for their “adult child!  On the Today Show this morning Matt Lauer interviewed Michelle Borba, an educational psychologist, on this phenomenon.  In short, Dr. Borba’s conclusion was that it is one thing to be involved in your child’s life and quite another to try to run it.  Her advice to helicopter parents:  “Back off!

I completely agree.  I am reminded of my days coaching traveling soccer and baseball about twenty years ago.  I loved working with the kids and teaching them how to play , particularly the subtleties of baseball.  Yet, I did not enjoy dealing with what I called “nightmare parents , those who would insert themselves into the situation and make my life and their son or daughter’s life miserable.

Now employers have to deal with parents who are managing the lives and careers of their adult children.  The scary part is that according to the research cited by Michelle Borba, 3 out of 4 children actually approve of their parents’ behavior and seem to be OK with one or both parents confronting their manager at the workplace.  Pushing this behavior to the extreme, what would happen when we elect a member of this millennial generation as President , does that mean the country will actually be run by their parents?  Think about the consequences of this behavior.  These “helicopter parents are creating an entire generation of people who will not be able to function independently in a healthy way in working with others.  It is time for employers to take a stand and stop this absurd behavior.

On a recent flight, I had an opportunity to read an issue of Poets and Writers which is a publication for , you guessed it – poets and writers. There was a quote that really struck me. “While every professional these days seems to have trouble finding a balance between work and life, the writer’s dilemma is more nuanced: to find a balance between the work one loves and the work that pays. Then today I happened to notice an article in USA Today about the gap in net worth between those in their 50’s and those in their 30’s. The article attributed the difference to the burden of student loans on the younger generation. And yesterday, on another flight, I sat next to young physician on her way to present a paper at a research conference who was lamenting about the student loans that she and her husband (also a doctor) face , the amount equivalent to that of a mortgage on an upscale house. So what do these separate events have in common?

I spend a lot of time in conversation with people in the world of work and I listen to their stories. The stories that I am hearing more frequently have to do with people really not liking what they do and yet feeling trapped by the necessity of paying the bills. Work life balance is a conversation that is heard very often and yet it seems to have a tacit assumption that one balances work (which is often not pleasant) with life (which is supposed to be). And we marvel at those who are fortunate enough to have found work that they enjoy and that allows them to pay the bills. So why can’t we find more satisfaction in our work lives? That is a question that I offer for your consideration.