It’s hard to work and play well with others if expectations don’t get shared. If both were still alive, today would have been my parents’ 70th wedding anniversary! They were married for 52 years and I was around for 41 of those.
When two people are in a relationship that long there will always be ups and downs and good times and bad. The longevity of any relationship really depends on how well those in the relationship find ways to make it work. One of the things that I noticed when times a got a little rocky between them was that they would forget to share their expectations of each other openly. Instead they just assumed the other knew what those expectation were. A case in point was usually the holiday season. Each would have expectations about what a great holiday season might look like, yet each would never share those expectations with the other. As a result, both were disappointed more often than not.
How many times have you experienced a situation where your boss assumed you knew what was expected or you were a member of a team that just left a meeting assuming everyone knew the assignment – yet those expectations were never openly shared.
Why are we so afraid to share those expectations openly, when not sharing them usually results in hurt feelings?
Intelligent Life Among Gen Y – Part 1
I have been on Twitter for six months. During that time I have connected with a community of some pretty amazing people and participated in the online public discourse that those I follow and who follow me encourage. There is a reasonable chance that I may have met some of these people eventually in this life or in my next reincarnation. However, Twitter accelerated that process. And yes, I have been spammed a number of times as well, but the latest version of Twitter makes it easier to report those rascals.
One of the people that I have had the privilege of meeting in the Twitterverse is a 24 year old named Matt Cheuvront (Twitter name @mattChevy). As I have written in other posts, I see great hope in the Millennial or Gen Y generation and want to do what I can to help them make a difference. One of the questions that I often ask is what will the leaders who emerge from this generation look like. I don’t know what Matt will be doing twenty years from now. However, he has already given us some clues about what leadership might mean to his generation.
Here is a brief autobiography taken from his blog Life Without Pants:
Twenty-three years old [he just turned 24 on 10/31/09], newly engaged, and in my new home of Chicago, Illinois. I’m passionate about relationship marketing and social entrepreneurship, forging connections and encouraging interactivity amongst people in every way possible. Striving for the added bottom line of giving back to others. We’re put on this earth to ask questions, to challenge one another, to inspire one other to be great. That’s where I come in. I’m an agent who inspires greatness – living life by the moments, without really knowing what tomorrow may bring.
In my work with successful leaders from all walks of life and generations, one of the key characteristics seems be that they have a sense of their personal power that comes not from the position that they hold, but instead from their credibility, competence, likeability, and networks.
Let’s look at these sources of personal power in reverse order. Not only does @mattChevy have a huge online network, he nurtures it, invests in it, and values it. Whenever someone comments on his blog, he acknowledges it. ( I don’t think this guy ever sleeps! Come to think of it, neither did I at 24!) Likeability is present when we find ourselves saying, “I really would like to work with this person”. I get the impression that there are many who would rate Matt high on likeability. When it comes to social media marketing and how to enage others in the public discourse about important issues, he knows his stuff. What enhances his competence though, is that he is always asking others for their insights and continues to learn. Finally, credibility is about doing-what-you-say-you-will-do. In his bio, Matt writes:
I’m passionate about relationship marketing and social entrepreneurship, forging connections and encouraging interactivity amongst people in every way possible. Striving for the added bottom line of giving back to others. We’re put on this earth to ask questions, to challenge one another, to inspire one other to be great.
If you spend some time reading his blog and following his tweets, @mattChevy does exactly what he says he will do. As an example, yesterday he posted an article on his blog titled Why I Won’t be Moving to Maine Anytime Soon. This post is his personal reflection about Maine voting down a same sex marriage law. What is noteworthy about this example is that he speaks from the heart with great courage and encourages a dialogue by specifically wanting to hear alternative points of view. At the time of this writing he has received 92 comments – and counting. If you take time to read the thread you will see an amazing sense of community and commentary.
In the spirit of full disclosure, @mattChevy did not ask me to write this, and in fact, may be surprised to see it. I hope it is OK with him. I wrote it for two reasons. First, I think Matt is a real mensch – a great Yiddish word meaning someone to admire and emulate. Second, in too many contexts, the conversations about members of Gen Y is – well – not very flattering. In every generation, there are people that we need to forget and those that we need to recognize and appreciate. My intent is to bring to light other emerging Gen Y leaders in this blog. Matt Cheuvront is just the first.