On Saturday, December 1, 2007 at about 7PM CST, my dear friend Andrue Scott died peacefully at the Benedictine Care Center in Minneapolis, MN. Andrue had battled HIV-AIDS for more than 16 years. A 1966 graduate of NYC’s School for the Performing Arts, he always had an uncanny sense of timing. So by dying on World AIDS Day, Andrue was being Andrue until the end. What finally caught up with him was that sarcoma that had metastasized before his leg was amputated in June, 2004.
I met Andrue when he was managing the Barnes and Noble Music Department in downtown Minneapolis. I went in one day at lunch to purchase one opera , Puccini’s La Rondine and left with TEN operas and a new friend.
So why am I writing about Andrue who was born Drue Scott Oppenheim in Queens, NY on May 25, 1948 in a blog about working with others? Reader’s Digest had a feature entitled, “The Most Unforgettable Character I Have Ever MetĀ. (Maybe they still do, I haven’t looked at an issue since Lyndon Johnson was president!) Andrue would be my subject if I were to write that essay today. He was very opinionated, somewhat assertive, and quite frankly, well, bossy! However, he had a certain wit and charm with which he could put people at ease and endear himself to many. His circle of friends included the rich and famous as well as the everyday regular people of the world. He was high on the likeability quotient.
There are at least two things we could learn from Andrue. The first is that he maintained that everything worth learning about in life comes from either a Broadway musical or a TV sitcom , and he could cite the exact show tune or episode to support his claim. Of course, this was back in the day when both musicals and sitcoms had substance. Second, Andrue always communicated directly , he said what he meant and meant what he said. I’ve maintained that if people could only communicate clearly with each other, many workplace issues would go away. So thank you Andrue for your friendship and what you have helped all of us to learn.
I met Drue in late ’69 or early ’70 when we were both working for a publishing company that neither of us was too fond of. Over the following 37 years we would come in and out of each other’s lives picking up just where we left off (no matter how much time had passed).
One of the main things that sticks in my head was Drue’s very strong desire to leave his mark on this world. I think that he believed that if he could become famous that he would be able to achieve that goal.
Starting with Alison’s newsletters while Andrue was in Benedictine’s, and following his death on a most appropriate date as far as I am concerned (and I’ll brazenly take the liberty of speaking for all who knew him) he accomplished that goal, and then some.
I’d like to believe that Drue is very much aware of how all who knew and loved him are keeping his memory alive.
I knew Drue for over 34 years. A more truthful line was never written about him : “Andrue always communicated directly , he said what he meant and meant what he said.”
Sometimes I would cringe at the things he would say, and tell him so. He would then call me a coward.
That was his strength; he was willing to face the consequences for all of his words and actions. Very admirable and very rare.
Thank you John for posting this.
My husband Tom and I had known Drue for 27 years…Tom met Drue when they both worked at the National Employment Law Project at the “God Box” on the upper west side of Manhattan circa 1981/1982.
Unfortunately. though, we had not been able to contact him since his last visit to New York. From time to time we would google Drue’s name to see if we could find him …I am very sad to learn that he is gone. He certainly was one of the most colorful people either of us have ever met. I can think back fondly on the various occasions we spent time together in New York, New Orleans or Minneapolis or had long and amusing phone conversations together. It seems like he had many people in his life over the years who felt like they were enriched by his friendship. He had a STRONG personality (even to other New Yorkers!) and seemed very self involved at times. After his diagnosis though (in 1988 or 1989) and the loss of so many people close to him and in the community, I think he became a much nicer and even an empathic person. He also went from being rabidly apolitical to really being buoyed up by all of the magnificent social services and medical advances stemming from the Gay rights movement which started at Stonewall ( literally down the block from his Christopher Street Apartment).
If each of our lives represents a point of light, then the world became darker and more bland and subdued last AIDS day when Drue passed. I am grateful for the internet and for the ability to read how our friend affected other people. I think that the experience of being a gay person, especially in Drue’s generation, necessitated the creation of a quasi family from one’s good friends (because of family dysfunction or homophobia) . It my theory is right, then that would make all of us sharing our feelings for Drue…a kind of family. It helps to grieve with other family members and I agree with Morgan above, that this is a wonderful way of keeping his memory alive.